August 25, 2010

How to Pinpoint Your Purpose

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Whoa…I must have struck a chord.  Since I announced my Sacred Success™ retreat, I’ve been flooded with emails…most saying the same thing: “I wish I knew my purpose, but…..”I’ve found that, among those women not reaching the success they desire or the fulfillment they crave, most have only a vague idea of their purpose, if that.   A lack of purpose can be disheartening. Having one, however, is positively galvanizing. This is the work of Step #2.  This is the essence of Sacred Success™. As I learned from women  who make millions—a woman with a purpose is  a force to be reckoned with. I’ve been blessed. I’ve known my purpose for 30 years—to empower women. But for those of you wishing to find—or redefine—yours, let me give you some ideas on where to look, based on my own experience.

1.  In Past Pain

I had a line in my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, that my editor cut because she considered it corny. “In our deepest pain, lies our highest purpose.” I’m not sure our life purpose has to come from pain, but it’s a good place to start looking. What’s been your most painful challenge in life?

2.  In World Problems

Someone once asked me, way back in graduate school: “If you had a magic wand, what one thing would you change on this planet?” I knew immediately: liberate women to work as equals among men (mind you, it was the 70s!). Right after that, I got a job at the Women’s Center on campus, helping women re-entering the workforce. That started the trajectory that’s led me to where I am today.  Look around…what  global problem do you feel super-strongly about? How could you contribute to the solution?

3.  In Childhood Play

When I was little, I always played school with my sisters. Of course, I was the teacher. Later, I organized a neighborhood camp, me being the sole counselor. As I grew older, I dreamt of becoming a college professor. I had babies instead. As we look back at the tapestry of our lives, it’s easy to spot certain threads that continually repeat, displaying an unwavering pattern holding clues to our purpose.  What did you love to play as a kid?

4.  In Secret fantasies

You know, those pipe-dreams you’ve never told anyone about…because they’re so absurd, it’s embarrassing. Mine was to be a rock star (oh god, it’s true).  Once, someone asked me: “If you could have anyone’s job, who would you be?”  That was easy.  Neil Diamond.  When he asked me why, the words just slipped out: “I want to write my songs and sing them.” This phrase so resonated, I’ve let it guide me through a myriad of careers. OK, so I can’t carry a tune.  But I’ve managed to write my songs (books) and sing (teach) them.  If you could have anyone’s job, who would YOU be?

5.  In this video blog

This just came to me while writing this blog, so naturally I had to include it. My good friend and wise minister, Richard Rogers, offers a foolproof suggestion for finding your purpose. Watch his video - “What’s Your Purpose?”

There’s other ways to figure out your purpose. I’d love to hear how you’ve pinpointed yours.

 

August 10, 2010

The Power of Purpose

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“I am not afraid. I was born to do this.”

–Joan of Arc

I wonder… had  Joan of Arc lived today, would she be raking in millions, rather than racing into battles?  She sounds like every mega-high-earner I interviewed (albeit more pithy and eloquent).

They all  possessed an almost divine sense of mission, a fire in their belly, a transpersonal commitment to something larger than themselves.

A powerful purpose seemed to be the prelude to making millions…and the basis for Step #2 of Sacred Success™: Pursue Your Highest Purpose based on Your Deepest Truths.

Much as Joan of Arc discovered centuries ago, a strong sense of purpose creates an almost unwavering perseverance, in a way that money alone never would.

Whenever these high earners were scared, stymied, or faced seemingly insurmountable obstacles, they immediately went back to their higher purpose.

As a multi-million dollar earner said to me, “When in doubt, I revisit my mission. Why am I here?”

But there’s also another reason why step 2 is so important. Having a higher purpose fosters a life of balance.  There’s a significant difference between drive and addiction. Drive comes from a vision that nourishes one’s soul and enriches one’s life. Addiction arises from fear-based beliefs such as scarcity, inadequacy, and shame, and it inevitably leads to burn out .

Most high earners eventually figured this out. As one young woman told me, “I had a massive inner critic and I pushed myself until I broke down.” Then she said, “I did lots of self improvement work and figured out how to achieve my dream without killing myself.”

In those words, she gives us the key to finding your highest purpose. It takes personal work, a great deal of self reflection.  I’ll talk more about this in my next blog.

 

July 13, 2010

4 Steps to Sacred Success™

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I’m back to blogging about  Sacred Success™ . Though I never actually deviated from it. All my recent posts have  directly stemmed from my new discoveries regarding this topic.

Now, however,  I’m ready to dive right in  and  share with you specific steps for achieving Sacred Success™.

First, a review for those who never read my post Let me introduce you to Sacred Success™

  • Sacred Success is the next step after overcoming underearning.
  • Sacred Success is the game being played by women who are making millions (a very different game from the one most successful men are playing).
  • Sacred Success merges higher incomes with a higher calling.
  • Sacred Success means following your soul’s path, for your own bliss and the benefit of others, while being richly rewarded .
  • Sacred Success begins with a strong profit motive, and then requires that you give up profit as your primary goal.
  • The Primary Goal for Sacred Success is Achieving Greatness.

Sacred Success™ follows a 4- step process.  I can only describe this process as a combination of getting your head clear and your hands dirty, or as an Irish saying puts it:  ”pray for potatoes with a hoe in your hand.”  That pretty much describes the 4 step process, a process that is both sacred and mundane, that is divinely guided while grounded in action.

Here are the 4 steps:

Step 1.  Receive consciously, surrendering to what is

Step 2.  Pursue your highest purpose according to your deepest truths

Step 3.  Exercise Mental Discipline

Step 4.  Leave a legacy by modeling Greatness

Stay tuned.  I’ll describe each of these steps in upcoming blogs. (I’ve actually discussed Step #1 at length in  The Beginners Guide to Surrender-in 6 Simple Steps )

 

May 27, 2010

What’s keeping you from Greatness?

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“The only thing standing between Greatness and me is me.”

–Woody Allen

Leave it to Woody to state the obvious. But I bet you don’t realize the insidious way countless women (me included) have been keeping ourselves from Achieving Greatness? I call it ATBS–Addicted to Busyness Syndrome.

We women stuff every cranny of our lives with so much activity that we’ve lost touch with what’s really essential and what’s truly irrelevant.

But ask us to lighten our load, actually say no to a task, and we start to panic. As if our world would shatter if we slowed down.  The truth is, we’ve become so controlled by shoulds, oughts, musts, have-tos that we’ve lost sight of what’s honestly important.

As you may know, I’ve spent the last 6 month clearing the clutter from my life. And I’m the first to admit—busyness is a bitch to give up!  Do you know why?  Busyness is the drug of choice for most women.

Without endless activity, we’re left with empty space. And empty space gives rise to painful feelings.  (For me, I felt unproductive, like a failure and a fraud)  Rather than experience the pain, we fill up the spaces. But, as I’ve learned from the last few months, when you stop running from the truth, you start recognizing your power. When you face what you fear, you realize it no longer controls you. When you eliminate the unnecessary, you begin to notice what really matters.

So I ask you….What could you slowly start cutting out of your day?  I’m not telling you to go cold turkey. But I invite you to observe all the needless activities you cram into your life– from constant emailing to extraneous chores.

What if you didn’t load the wash until later in the afternoon? What if you responded to emails only once a day? What if you didn’t answer the phone and instead stared out the window.

Maybe you’ll find what I did. It’s only in stillness that you’ll begin to hear the secrets your soul yearns to share. It’s only in the quiet that you’ll discover the path to Sacred Success™.

 

May 19, 2010

What is Greatness?

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This one had me stumped.  I liked the sound of those words: “The Primary Goal for Sacred Success™ is Achieving Greatness” (see my last blog entry).  But admittedly, I was also intimidated by them.  

I thought of women I considered models of Greatness: Mother Teresa, Eleanor Roosevelt,  Betty Friedan.  But I also thought of my daughters—one an organic farmer, another a nursery school teacher, and the oldest a stay-at-home mom. I may be a bit biased, but I honestly see my girls going for Greatness, each in their own way.

So I began asking myself–“what does Greatness mean?”  According to Merriam-Webster, Greatness describes someone who is “remarkable in magnitude, degree or effectiveness.”

Every one of us is capable of remarkable feats. We don’t need to be anything extraordinary.  We do, however,  need to play full out.

Here are what I see as the 15 traits of Greatness:

1.      Greatness refuses to be limited or controlled in any way by fear. (Fear is to greatness what ants are to a picnic… annoying, inevitable, and best ignored)

2.      Greatness follows ideas that come from seemingly nowhere.

3.      Greatness doesn’t act alone. It has partners, collaborators, a team.

4.      Greatness is humble, not to be confused with Grandiosity. Grandiosity comes from the ego and is, as A Course in Miracles tells us, “always a cover for despair.”  Greatness is sourced from the soul and is always a desire to do what it came to earth to do.

5.      Greatness sees the world as it’s playground and every problem as part of The Game…a lawsuit is no more serious that losing a stapler.

6.      Greatness takes its mission (not itself) very seriously, and always puts that mission first.

7.      Greatness truly enjoys Greatness, not just for itself, but for its positive effect on others.

8.      Greatness  respects and appreciates money… sufficient income is necessary to eliminate any distractions for achieving its goals.

9.      Greatness isn’t perfect, and is more than willing not to be. Greatness feeds on self trust (the definition to self-trust: knowing you can clean up what you mess up!).

10. When pain enters Greatness, it’s meant to be a wake-up call.

11. Greatness is kind, but tough, and politely endures criticism.  While Greatness doesn’t need be liked, it demands to be respected.

12. The Arc of Greatness involves many mistakes, failures, wrong turns…they are the steppingstones to  Greatness.

13. Greatness is passion made manifest.  The biggest pitfall to Greatness–doing what you should vs. what you love.

14. Greatness requires responsibility, rejects mediocrity, and resides in the unknown.

15. When Greatness dies, it doesn’t go away. Greatness always leaves a legacy behind.

Anything you’d like to add???

 

July 24, 2009

The Guide To Greatness

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Women | Tags: , , , |
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Day 2 of my retreat had me curled up on the cozy window seat, staring at the water, pondering what Greatness actually means.  This was not something I’d given a lot of thought to in the past.

Still, I figured I should know.  My  father had achieved Greatness.  Not because he co-founded a famous company.  But because he made it possible for large numbers of people to get quality tax preparation for a fraction of the price.  I grew up with Greatness.  I saw it every day, living, breathing, expanding, succeeding.  As  I started reviewing what my father  showed me, I came up with a formula for Achieving Greatness:

1.       Greatness refuses to be limited or controlled in any way by fear.  (Fear is to greatness what ants are to a picnic… annoying, inevitable, and best ignored)

2.       Greatness follows ideas that come from seemingly nowhere.

3.       Greatness doesn’t act alone. It has partners, collaborators, a team.

4.       Greatness is humble, not to be confused with Grandiosity.  Grandiosity comes from the ego and is; as A Course in Miracles tells us, “always a cover for despair.”  Greatness is sourced from the soul and is always a desire to do what it came to earth to do.

5.       Greatness sees the world as it’s playground and every problem as part of The Game… a lawsuit is no more serious that misplacing a stapler.

6.       Greatness takes its mission (not itself) very seriously, and always puts that mission first.

7.       Greatness truly enjoys Greatness, not just for itself, but for its positive effect on others.

8.       Greatness is not out  for money or fame.  Fame may occur or not — it’s totally irrelevant.  But money is mandatory…  sufficient income is necessary to eliminate any distractions for achieving its goals.

9.       Greatness isn’t perfect, and is more than willing not to be.  Greatness feeds on self trust (the definition to self-trust:  knowing you can clean up what you mess up!).

10.   When pain enters Greatness, it’s meant to be a wake-up call.

11.   Greatness is kind, but tough, and politely endures criticism.  While Greatness doesn’t need be liked, it demands to be respected.

12.   The Arc of Greatness involves many mistakes, failures, wrong turns… they are the steppingstones to  Greatness.

13.   Greatness is passion made manifest.  The biggest pitfall to Greatness – doing what you should vs. what you love.

14.   Greatness requires responsibility, rejects mediocrity, and resides in the unknown.

15.   When Greatness dies, it doesn’t go away. Greatness always leaves  behind witnesses.

Woody Allen had it right when he said: “The only thing standing between Greatness and me, is me.”

Coming next: Getting out of the way of Greatness.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com
360.385.0600

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