Oy…I can almost feel you recoil at the very mention. “Not the ‘D’ word…anything but that!”

Hear me out.  Discipline has gotten a bum rap.  Discipline is not a means of punishment. It’s actually the source of pleasure, the essence of power and  the path to Greatness.

Think of it this way. Discipline comes from the latin word ‘disciple,’ and means ‘being a disciple unto oneself.’  Discipline asks you to become your own biggest fan, viewing yourself in the very best light, being kind to yourselves when things don’t go well, doing what needs to be done, as best as you can.

Discipline is Step #3 of Sacred Success™. And it’s especially important to women.

In  my interviews with high earners, I noticed that success tends to be a very emotional process.  Unlike men, we haven’t  been groomed for greatness.

Practically every woman I interviewed made the same observation. In the world of work,  men assume they’re competent,  feel entitled, and tend to risk big.   Women assume they’re inadequate, feel apprehensive and tend to hold back.

So many aspiring women, especially in the beginning, described  feeling:

• guilt (Do I really have a right to this?)

• doubt (Can I handle it? Am I on the right path?)

• fear (Am I doing it right? Will I fail?)

For many, these questions are like quicksand, keeping us stuck, sucking  us under.

What I wanted to know was what enabled the most successful ones to keep going higher? The answer became obvious—the “D” word .

I’m going to talk more about discipline in blogs to come. I’ll tell you about 4 techniques that are anything but traditional. But now I’d love to hear from you. What’s your reaction to the “D” word?

1.  In Past Pain

I had a line in my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, that my editor cut because she considered it corny. “In our deepest pain, lies our highest purpose.” I’m not sure our life purpose has to come from pain, but it’s a good place to start looking. What’s been your most painful challenge in life?

2.  In World Problems

Someone once asked me, way back in graduate school: “If you had a magic wand, what one thing would you change on this planet?” I knew immediately: liberate women to work as equals among men (mind you, it was the 70s!). Right after that, I got a job at the Women’s Center on campus, helping women re-entering the workforce. That started the trajectory that’s led me to where I am today.  Look around…what  global problem do you feel super-strongly about? How could you contribute to the solution?

3.  In Childhood Play

When I was little, I always played school with my sisters. Of course, I was the teacher. Later, I organized a neighborhood camp, me being the sole counselor. As I grew older, I dreamt of becoming a college professor. I had babies instead. As we look back at the tapestry of our lives, it’s easy to spot certain threads that continually repeat, displaying an unwavering pattern holding clues to our purpose.  What did you love to play as a kid?

4.  In Secret fantasies

You know, those pipe-dreams you’ve never told anyone about…because they’re so absurd, it’s embarrassing. Mine was to be a rock star (oh god, it’s true).  Once, someone asked me: “If you could have anyone’s job, who would you be?”  That was easy.  Neil Diamond.  When he asked me why, the words just slipped out: “I want to write my songs and sing them.” This phrase so resonated, I’ve let it guide me through a myriad of careers. OK, so I can’t carry a tune.  But I’ve managed to write my songs (books) and sing (teach) them.  If you could have anyone’s job, who would YOU be?

5.  In this video blog

This just came to me while writing this blog, so naturally I had to include it. My good friend and wise minister, Richard Rogers, offers a foolproof suggestion for finding your purpose. Watch his video - “What’s Your Purpose?”

There’s other ways to figure out your purpose. I’d love to hear how you’ve pinpointed yours.

–Joan of Arc

I wonder… had  Joan of Arc lived today, would she be raking in millions, rather than racing into battles?  She sounds like every mega-high-earner I interviewed (albeit more pithy and eloquent).

They all  possessed an almost divine sense of mission, a fire in their belly, a transpersonal commitment to something larger than themselves.

A powerful purpose seemed to be the prelude to making millions…and the basis for Step #2 of Sacred Success™: Pursue Your Highest Purpose based on Your Deepest Truths.

Much as Joan of Arc discovered centuries ago, a strong sense of purpose creates an almost unwavering perseverance, in a way that money alone never would.

Whenever these high earners were scared, stymied, or faced seemingly insurmountable obstacles, they immediately went back to their higher purpose.

As a multi-million dollar earner said to me, “When in doubt, I revisit my mission. Why am I here?”

But there’s also another reason why step 2 is so important. Having a higher purpose fosters a life of balance.  There’s a significant difference between drive and addiction. Drive comes from a vision that nourishes one’s soul and enriches one’s life. Addiction arises from fear-based beliefs such as scarcity, inadequacy, and shame, and it inevitably leads to burn out .

Most high earners eventually figured this out. As one young woman told me, “I had a massive inner critic and I pushed myself until I broke down.” Then she said, “I did lots of self improvement work and figured out how to achieve my dream without killing myself.”

In those words, she gives us the key to finding your highest purpose. It takes personal work, a great deal of self reflection.  I’ll talk more about this in my next blog.

Just this past week, waiting for my daughter to give birth, I’ve experienced a whole new level of–and whole new lesson in–surrender.

I flew to California just before her due date, July 8th, putting my life on hold to be present for the delivery.  She’d be having her baby at home and I wasn’t about to miss it. Nor were her sisters who came from their respective towns, or her father who traveled from a foreign country.

The first few days were exciting…a family splintered by geography gathered to welcome a new member to the tribe.  But after a week, the waiting began to wear thin as we dangled in a limbo of uncertainty. No one felt it more than the mother-to-be. She became  a bundle  of  frayed nerves,  seriously doubting if  there’d ever really be a baby,  sure she’d let everyone down by being late, feeling helpless and out of control.

The metaphor was inescapable. This is what I’d been feeling this past year.  Which is precisely what the first step to Sacred Success™ is all about: waiting to give birth. Since last December, when I started my sabbatical,  I’ve been dangling in a limbo of uncertainty,  consciously relinquishing control, impatiently questioning if  I’d ever be productive again, wondering what other people were thinking of me.

Fast forward to this July. At the very moment the uncertainty became almost unbearable, (as it always will)  I got a message from the Universe…literally. I subscribe to a daily email called TUT… A Note from the Universe theuniverse@tut.com. Out of the blue, came these cosmic instructions for surviving and thriving during a period of surrender:

“So what if you don’t have it yet, barbara?

It’s coming. You’re gonna get it. You’re gonna love it. And then you’re gonna forget there was ever a time when you didn’t have it.

Learning to be happy while you wait, barbara, is worth learning. And to help learn this, just keep yourself busy.”

And now, days after the birth of my granddaughter, it’s hard to believe there was ever a time we didn’t have her. I wonder if I’ll feel the same about the next phase of my career, whatever it may be?? I’ll tell you one thing, I’m determined to enjoy the wait, keeping myself busy changing diapers!!!

I’m back to blogging about  Sacred Success™ . Though I never actually deviated from it. All my recent posts have  directly stemmed from my new discoveries regarding this topic.

Now, however,  I’m ready to dive right in  and  share with you specific steps for achieving Sacred Success™.

First, a review for those who never read my post Let me introduce you to Sacred Success™

• Sacred Success is the next step after overcoming underearning.

• Sacred Success is the game being played by women who are making millions (a very different game from the one most successful men are playing).

• Sacred Success merges higher incomes with a higher calling.

• Sacred Success means following your soul’s path, for your own bliss and the benefit of others, while being richly rewarded .

• Sacred Success begins with a strong profit motive, and then requires that you give up profit as your primary goal.

• The Primary Goal for Sacred Success is Achieving Greatness.

Sacred Success™ follows a 4- step process.  I can only describe this process as a combination of getting your head clear and your hands dirty, or as an Irish saying puts it:  ”pray for potatoes with a hoe in your hand.”  That pretty much describes the 4 step process, a process that is both sacred and mundane, that is divinely guided while grounded in action.

Here are the 4 steps:

Step 1.  Receive consciously, surrendering to what is

Step 2.  Pursue your highest purpose according to your deepest truths

Step 3.  Exercise Mental Discipline

Step 4.  Leave a legacy by modeling Greatness

Stay tuned.  I’ll describe each of these steps in upcoming blogs. (I’ve actually discussed Step #1 at length in  The Beginners Guide to Surrender-in 6 Simple Steps )

I believe our financial foundation is only as strong as our individual integrity.

I am convinced the economic meltdown was a direct result of a lack of integrity,  among consumers and institutions alike.  The same applies to all the problems we’re witnessing today. Think: Tiger, Toyota, BP…to name a few. They all are, in large part, crisis that occurred when people acted out of  integrity.

I believe that every crisis comes with critical lessons. So instead of reacting solely with fury, frustration or a deep sense of futility—which I tend to do—I remind myself to treat each crisis as a teacher.

Take the oil spill, for example. Maybe I can’t do anything personally to protect the pelicans, but I can learn (and share) the lesson this crisis is offering me. For me, it’s all about integrity.

The word integrity comes from the latin root, meaning wholeness or entirety. Integrity demands  that our words and deeds  consistently reflect our deepest truths, highest aspirations,  and most cherished values.

Now, more than ever,  I believe we all need to ask ourselves 2 questions, on a daily basis:

• Where am I out of integrity?
• How can I correct that?

None of us are too big to fail. Nor are we too small to soar.  The difference, I believe, rests largely on our level of integrity…and our courage to act on it.

For those who know me, what I’m about to say will come as no surprise.  And if you’ve read my latest blogs, it’ll probably seem obvious. But I feel compelled to confess my deepest conviction…

I firmly believe that financial success is a spiritual journey; that financial abundance is a divine right and a divine duty; and that financial accountability is a sacred responsibility.

I share this for a reason. I believe looking at money from this perspective makes the often overwhelming task of making more and managing it wisely seem easier and definitely more meaningful. It sure did for me.

I’ve come to believe, from my own experience, that money (respecting and appreciating it) is a vital tool for doing what we were put on this earth to do.

I’ve always believed that we are here to do God’s work. But we cannot possibly follow our God-given destiny, if we’re drowning in debt or struggling to make ends meet.

However, disciplined spending, ample earnings, habitual savings, and prudent investing are sacred tools for not only living our best life but improving the lives of others.

Money  is power. Everyone knows that. But I take it one step further.  Money, I believe, is God made visible.

Do you think I’m way off here????

If you’re a woman, you likely suffer from this syndrome.   But the prognosis is hopeful!

And here’s proof…from a successful, but harried real estate agent. She finally decided enough is enough and put herself through an ATBS Detox.

Admittedly, she says, “It’s been a hard habit to break.”  Yet look what’s happened in just a few weeks.

Her Detox was fairly simple…

• “Instead of watching TV AND working at the same time, I am now (mostly) putting my laptop down.
• “When I finish my work, instead of saying ‘What’s next?’ like I used to, I now just leave my desk.”
• “I have managed to get in meditation time and more strategic thinking time, and some inspiration time.”

Her results were stunning….

• “My desk is clear…”
• “I feel like I am on top of everything…”
• “Opportunities are popping up all over the place.”

For example….

• “Someone asked me to help them renovate a property (the thing I really love)and get paid for it…”
• “ I have been asked to contribute to a weekly magazine advice column.”
• “ Opportunities to sell, buy, connect buyers and sellers are starting to pop up.”
• “A really great side effect is that I am waking up each day having insights about my life. Now that I’m not so busy, my sleep/dreamspace is not so full and can be used for something else other than just processing my day to day stuff.”

I urge each of you to create your own Detox from Busyness.  I think you’ll find what this woman  did… hiding behind  all that frenetic activity are unseen opportunities, unlimited creativity,  untold peace,  and unbelievable freedom.

Coming up in my June newsletter (sign up here)– designing a successful ATBS Detox program.

Earlier I wrote about the 3 Levels of Financial Success: Survival, Stability, and Affluence. (see Let me introduce you to Sacred Success™ )

The 3rd stage, Affluence, is where most women get stuck. Why? Because  once a woman is financially stable, she’s rarely motivated by money.

That means women must approach level 3 with a different mindset—money is no longer the goal; Sacred Success™ is.

What does that mean?  Sacred Success™ has 4 Prerequisites, 4 shifts in mindset that must occur. If these 4 traits aren’t firmly intact, your efforts to achieve and maintain affluence will likely become an exercise in struggle:

1.    A healthy respect for your value (You’ve had the click—you know you deserve to earn more for no other reason than you’re worth it—without which,  Sacred Success™  is impossible)

2.    A healthy respect for money (which means obeying the  4 Rules of Money: Spend Less; Save More; Invest Wisely; Give Generously—in that order!)

3.    A strong profit motive (you’ve given yourself permission to prosper without conflict or ambivalence)

4.    A willingness to be uncomfortable (you actually welcome discomfort by actively looking for ways to stretch)

Check-in with yourself to make sure these 4 traits are integrated into your thinking. And in the future, whenever you flip into scarcity, feel like you’re stuck or find yourself struggling, immediately revisit these 4 to find the weak link. Sacred Success™ is not about being perfect…it’s about being persistent.

–Woody Allen

Leave it to Woody to state the obvious. But I bet you don’t realize the insidious way countless women (me included) have been keeping ourselves from Achieving Greatness? I call it ATBS–Addicted to Busyness Syndrome.

We women stuff every cranny of our lives with so much activity that we’ve lost touch with what’s really essential and what’s truly irrelevant.

But ask us to lighten our load, actually say no to a task, and we start to panic. As if our world would shatter if we slowed down.  The truth is, we’ve become so controlled by shoulds, oughts, musts, have-tos that we’ve lost sight of what’s honestly important.

As you may know, I’ve spent the last 6 month clearing the clutter from my life. And I’m the first to admit—busyness is a bitch to give up!  Do you know why?  Busyness is the drug of choice for most women.

Without endless activity, we’re left with empty space. And empty space gives rise to painful feelings.  (For me, I felt unproductive, like a failure and a fraud)  Rather than experience the pain, we fill up the spaces. But, as I’ve learned from the last few months, when you stop running from the truth, you start recognizing your power. When you face what you fear, you realize it no longer controls you. When you eliminate the unnecessary, you begin to notice what really matters.

So I ask you….What could you slowly start cutting out of your day?  I’m not telling you to go cold turkey. But I invite you to observe all the needless activities you cram into your life– from constant emailing to extraneous chores.

What if you didn’t load the wash until later in the afternoon? What if you responded to emails only once a day? What if you didn’t answer the phone and instead stared out the window.

Maybe you’ll find what I did. It’s only in stillness that you’ll begin to hear the secrets your soul yearns to share. It’s only in the quiet that you’ll discover the path to Sacred Success™.