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August 4, 2009

6 Things To Do Before Your Spouse Dies – Part 1

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, estate planning, Support | Tags: , , , |
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I heard from a woman whose husband was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Her question to me:  What should a woman do before her husband dies?

My heart went out to her,  along with my admiration.  Instead of going into denial, she went into action.  Death is not easy to talk about,  let alone prepare for.  What would you do in her situation?  After all,  most women will face a similar dilemma at some point.

I’ll never forget,  when my father got ill,  I went to  my mother.  “Do you know what Daddy has planned for you when he dies?” I asked.

“Oh yes,” she replied quickly, but when I pressed her for details, she couldn’t tell me.  She also made it abundantly clear:  this was not a conversation she wanted to have.  I made it even clearer:  avoidance was not an option.  Here’s what we did:

1.       We had “the talk.” I had my Mom sit down with my Dad and we looked at all the financial documents:  bank statements, investments, estate planning, etc.  This was not, by any means, an easy conversation.  Dealing with death is emotionally excruciating, at least it was for us.  Nerves were frayed.  My Mom glazed over.  My Dad lost patience.  I kept scratching my wrist (a nervous habit) until it bled.  But by the end,  my Mom knew where every penny was and what arrangements he had made… and hadn’t made.

2.       We assembled “ the team.” My Dad was very much a do-it-yourselfer.   I wanted my Mom to have her own team of professionals to support and guide her (during and after).  First on our list was to hire an estate lawyer… we found one (through my sister).  Mom, my sisters and I met with him first, brought in my father, and together my parents created a very good, tax efficient estate plan… which my Mom not only understood, but had a big  role in creating.

3.       We updated documents.  We made sure the Will, Power of Attorney, EVERYTHING reflected their latest info and current wishes.

As I said, not an easy process.  Sadly, many of us will go through this.  But being prepared, financially, will make it a little easier.

In my next post, I’ll list the final 3 steps you need to take, to prepare yourself.  Stay tuned.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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January 29, 2009

Ready to $tart getting $mart???

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, debt problems, Earning, Economy, Finance, Invest, Money, Savings, Support | Tags: , , |
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Does this sound like you?

“It’s a new year! I’m finally going to tackle my finances.  Yep, I’m really ready to get smart about money. Well…sort of.   I mean, I do want to learn…but it just seems so overwhelming.  Where do I start?”

Start with this article: http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-newsReading up/savings-money-club-comeback-1264.php. Not just because I’m in it! The author, Dana Dratch,  does a fabulous job of explaining how to make  financial education fun! FUN????

Yes, FUN!  Invite some friends, bring some food, and start a Money Club.

“The idea has been around for years,” Dana writes. “A small group of friends, co-workers or, in some cases, complete strangers meet regularly to polish money skills, discuss money challenges and set concrete goals. Don’t confuse money clubs with investment clubs, in which members focus on investing skills and may even make investing decisions as a group or pool their money. “

Dana also interviewed Ginita Wall, the co-founder of www.wife.org (which I believe is the best financial education site on the internet for women) and a major proponent of money clubs. Ginita created the site; www.TheMoneyClub.org, where you can download a  free Leader’s Guide for “individuals interested in starting a club, and a menu of lesson plans for meetings.“

Money clubs are exploding in popularity. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s in a money club…got any tips or advice for the rest of us?

 

October 8, 2008

Is The Sky Really Falling? Messages from the Market

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, debt problems, Finance, Money, Support, wealth | Tags: , , , , |
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Unless you’ve been stuck on a dessert island, you’ve probably noticed that the financial industry is on one hell of a roller-coaster ride.   But according to the rule of the roller coaster, the only ones who get hurt are those who jump off in the middle.

This is not a time to panic.  This is a time to pay attention.

I believe scary times carry significant lessons. This financial mess has some urgent messages for us all. It’s as if the Universe is shaking us by the shoulders, desperately trying to get our attention, urging us to do things differently.

My advice: use these economic breakdowns as a catalyst for your own financial breakthroughs. If you can reap the wisdom in the chaos, there’s a wealth of knowledge to be gained. Here are a few Messages From the Market :

1. Never confuse ignorance with safety – This is not a time to ignore money and pretend everything will be ok. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. Complacency without comprehension is particularly perilous.

The message from the markets: educate yourself financially…now!! (www.barbarastanny.com)

2. Never buy anything you can’t afford – Debt is bad. Debt is dangerous. When debt starts spiraling out of control, as it always does, it takes everything down with it.

The message from the markets: stop using credit, get rid of your cards, and create a plan for paying off outstanding balances. (www.nfcc.org)

3. Never invest in anything you don’t understand – Not even the experts understood the mortgage backed securities they were gobbling up. (www.betterinvesting.org)

The message from the markets: as your mother probably told you, just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you have to too!!!

4.  Diversification is paramount – Plunging markets tend to sink all ships. Those who bounce back fastest, however, have money spread out among different sectors, company sizes, industries, and countries.

The message from the markets: call your advisor and re-balance your portfolio. No advisor? (www.cfp.net; www.nafpfa.org; www.financialpro.org)

5. Trust your gut – If something is too good to be true, rest assured…it is, despite what the supposed experts are saying!!!.

The message from the markets: take your power back.

6. It’s a sale! – The media knows…fear sells. Don’t buy in by selling out. Instead, start scouting for bargains.

The message from the markets:   “When a recovery comes, those who were smart or lucky enough to buy at the bottom will do very well.” Wall Street Journal  (10/6/08) (www.wsj.com)

The markets will eventually go back up. And when they do, you want to be well positioned to benefit…and geared up to weather the next inevitable downturn.

 

August 19, 2008

Help, I Think I’m A Compulsive Shopper!

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Career, Empower, Inspiration, Money, Savings, Support, Women | Tags: , , |
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It’s the finale…the last installment of popular questions. I hope they’ve been helpful. And if you have any questions for me, feel free to ask. I’d love to hear from you! So here we go:

Road to financial empowerment for women

1. I’m getting married next year. Should my fiancé and I keep separate accounts or have one joint account?
It’s fine to have a joint account for bill paying, etc, but be sure you have one for yourself too. Every woman needs an account in her own name.

2. How can I stop being such a compulsive shopper?
As my mentor, Karen McCall, a pioneer in financial recovery, always said: “You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.” The problem isn’t the shopping, but the “hole in your soul” you’re trying to fill. I highly recommend attending DA (Debtors Anonymous) meetings, a 12 step program for over-spenders, chronic debtors, and underearners.

3. What is one of the most common money mistakes women make and how can I avoid it?
Without a doubt; it’s doing nothing because you’re afraid of making a mistake. My advice is to spend 3-6 months educating yourself. How?

  1. Every day read something about money, even if it’s just the headlines in the business section of the newspaper, even if it’s only for 1or 2 minutes.
  2. Every week, talk about money, particularly with someone who knows more than you. (taking a class counts too).
  3. Every month, save by having a small amount from your paycheck or checking account automatically deposited in a savings and/or retirement account.

I also encourage women to find a financial advisor they can trust, who will hold them accountable and keep them on track.

4. I’m always worrying about money. How can I calm my fears?

  1. Educate yourself. Knowledge is the best anecdote for fear. The goal is to make financial decisions from knowledge, not ignorance, emotion or habit. Doing the 3 steps I outlined above is an amazingly simple but effective way to conquer money fears.
  2. Join with others. We women are so relationship oriented, one of the best ways to learn is to get support by forming (or joining) a money book club, money study group, or investment club.
  3. Track your spending. Write down every penny you spend for at least a month, then transfer those amounts to spending categories. This exercise allows you to see how/where you can shave expenses, figure out a debt repayment plan, and increase savings.
  4. Create an emergency savings fund with at least 6 months worth of living expenses (a shoe sale is NOT an emergency!)

5. As a young career woman, what’s the single smartest thing I can do with my money now?
Automatic savings. Arrange to have the bank, every month, withdraw money from your checking account or paycheck and deposit it monthly into a personal savings account. Even small amounts ($10 or $20 a month) consistently saved accumulate quickly. It’s money you’d otherwise fritter away. And you don’t miss what you don’t see!! Do the same with your company’s retirement account.

6. My current salary is under 50K. How can I make more money?
If you love what you do, ask for a raise. If you get a ‘no’, ask your boss what you need to do for a pay increase. If you feel dead-ended, or dislike your current job, start looking for a better, higher paying one. Figure out what you’re passionate about and network like crazy. From my interviews with six- and seven-figure women, I discovered that four factors are essential for financial success and quality of life (both are important):

  1. Passion—loving what you do
  2. Audacity—doing what you fear
  3. Resilience—getting back up when you fall down
  4. Community—reaching out for support
 

August 12, 2008

Is Talking About Money, Crass and Rude?

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Career, Earning, Empower, Inspiration, Money, Support | Tags: , , |
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I’m back with more questions that I’m commonly asked, and the pithy answers I provided. Let me know if you disagree (or agree) with any of my responses.
1. How does a person, like myself, who is inexperienced with negotiating, learn how to do it successfully?
I’ll tell you how I’ve learned to be a better negotiator: by 1) taking classes, 2) reading books, 3) talking to people who are good at it; 4) learning from my mistakes. If I have to choose the one that’s been the most powerful, it’s #4.
2. I have a lot of external constraints—3 children and an active family life—that prevent me from achieving my full professional potential. What can I do?
Your external conditions are not actual constraints. They’re excuses…pure and simple. I talk to too many women, with those same constraints, who are succeeding magnificently. And then there are others who don’t have kids or a family, yet have all kinds of other “constraints” as reasons for not acting. More often than not, we use those “constraints” as justifications, so we don’t have to do what we’re scared to do.
3. How can I most effectively teach my children about personal finance?
Whenever anyone asks me ‘how can I get my kids to be smart about money?’ my answer is always the same. Start by getting smart yourself. When it comes to children, you teach best what you model most. Also, I suggest talking openly and consistently (without preaching) to them about money. Include your kids in conversations about the family budget, paying bills, investing, saving for college, the danger of credit cards, etc. Managing money was, and still is, a very common topic of conversation around our dinner table.
4. I am a 50-year-old chronic underearner in a dead-end job with no advancement path. Is there any hope for me?
I was in my 50’s when I finally overcame underearning. And I’ve interviewed women who didn’t start making good money until their 60’s or 70’s. Overcoming underearning has nothing to do with age, lack of education or credentials…or anything else we think we need to make the big bucks. The only requirement necessary is the willingness to do what you fear, including thinking bigger, valuing yourself, and going outside your comfort zone (which may mean finding a new job)
5. Discussing money can be seen as crass, rude, or inappropriate. Until this changes, how can I find support, like you suggest?
I’ll tell you how I found support. I went to networking events, joined professional groups, attended financial conferences…anywhere I could find people who were like I wanted to become. I’d talk to them openly about money. It wasn’t crass. I didn’t ask how much they made, but I’d pick their brain and find out how they got smart. You’d be surprised how people will respond when you’re authentic and sincere about learning more.

So, do you agree or disagree? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

 

July 15, 2008

Fear Got You Stuck??

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Career, Empower, Inspiration, Money, Support, wealth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |
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I have a question for you. It’s an important one. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Whenever my children ask me what they should do, I always respond the same way. “Do what scares you the most.” They rarely like that reply, but they always know I’m right.

Why?

Because when you stretch beyond your comfort zone, miracles occur. They really do. Dreams come true. Your confidence soars. All sorts of amazing things happen when you tackle what terrifies you. It’s the one act that separates high earners from underearners, a life of joy from one of quiet desperation. But don’t just take my word for it.

Here’s a beautiful email from a woman who attended my workshop last December:

“Your BIGGEST gift to me was your admonition to stretch – to commit myself to being uncomfortable for the sake of financial growth and, to a certain extent, self-respect. In my case, that willingness to be uncomfortable took the form of keeping up marketing relationships even when there was a clear possibility – even likelihood – of disappointment, and asking for more money for what I do. I set a goal of $100,000 in billings for this year and am happy to tell you I had exceeded that goal by the end of May. What is more, being uncomfortable is no longer very uncomfortable! (Italics are mine!) Disappointments and even outright refusals/rejections now feel like part of the landscape instead of the monumental cliffs I had imagined them to be before.”

I get emails like this all the time. I’m sure that’s what gives me the courage to stretch as often as I do. And that’s why I’m sharing the email with you…to inspire you and challenge you to go where you fear.

Two things I have come to see for sure:

1) The closer you get to what you fear, you’ll find it’s never as scary as you expected.

2) There’s a direct correlation between the level of fear you feel and the amount of pleasure, power, and freedom awaiting you on the other side.

So, I ask you again: What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Care to share???

 

July 11, 2008

Women & Investing

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Earning, Finance, Invest, Money, Savings, Support, wealth, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |
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If you’ll excuse me, but I’m frustrated and I need to vent! Yet another study has come out that tells us, according to an article in US World & News Report: “financial institutions are failing to connect with female customers, a group that will soon control 60% of the wealth in the US.” Duh! http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/ConsumerActionGuide/HowBanksShouldTalkToWomen.aspx

Allianz Life Insurance revealed what every study for the past decade has discovered: most women want to learn about retirement planning and investing. But “(Women) are telling us that materials out there are difficult to understand and that they find them boring. Some even compared them to reading a foreign language,” says Sherri DuMond, vice president of marketing solutions for Allianz.

This is news? Maybe to the industry. Certainly not to women.

The problem is that financial firms simply respond with more of the same materials, but couched in what one advisor in the article called “female-friendly metaphors.” For example: “Updating your 401(k) every six months…is like putting your winter clothes away in the summer, she says, and making stable investment choices is like purchasing your first black or blue suit.”

If the financial industry asked for my advice (and no one has), here’s what I’d tell them.

It’s time to get down to the nitty gritty! Don’t just focus on the facts of investing. Get personal. Dig deep. Talk about her fears. Explore her resistance . Delve into the real issues, like family messages and cultural conditioning. I always say doing the outer work without paying attention to the inner work only perpetuates the status quo.

Am I all alone here? Or am I being foolish to think that if financial advisors were trained appropriately, they could learn to actually talk about emotions? Let me hear from you!

 

June 16, 2008

Finding A Financial Professional

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Earning, Finance, Invest, Money, Support, wealth, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |
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Those of you familiar with my work know this about me: I’m a big fan of using financial advisors.

The reason: we women are so busy, many of us of don’t have the time, interest, or knowledge to manage our own money (and do it well). Of all the women I’ve interviewed, the ones with the highest networths didn’t necessarily earn (or inherit) the highest income. But the whopping majority did work with financial professionals.

The challenge: how do you find a trustworthy financial advisor?

The strategy: Ask for referrals from people who are happy with their advisors. Or go online to find names of advisors near you. Try these sites:

www.napfa.org — National association of Personal Financial Advisors

www.garrettplanningnetwork.com — the Garrett Planning Network of financial advisors who work for an hourly fee.

www.cfp.net — the website of Certified Financial Planners

The solution: Resist the urge to sign up with the first advisor you meet. Interview at least 3. Ask questions such as these, then go with your gut instinct:

1. Would you tell me about yourself?

2. Do you specialize in certain types of investments?

3. Who are your clients?

4. How do you charge for your services, and what costs might I incur working with you?

5. How often do you communicate with clients, and how often might I expect to hear from you?

6. Have you ever been involved in any lawsuits, arbitration, or disciplinary problems?

7. Is there anything you want me to know about you that I haven’t asked?

Need more help? I’ve written a booklet filled with great advice: Finding A Financial Advisor You Can Trust. You can order it on my website.

I’d love to hear your tips about finding an advisor.

 

May 5, 2008

Questions about Financial Advisors

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Finance, Relationships, Support | Tags: , , , |
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I’m a big believer in working with financial advisors. But I’ve noticed that most women have a lot of questions about working with professionals, and don’t always know how to find the answers.

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions I get*:

Q. What if I inherited financial professionals from my family and don’t want to continue working with them?

A. If you don’t like their personality, values or investment style, find someone else. Remember, it’s your money now and you need to do what is right for you. You may find it more difficult to dismiss advisors who are old family friends but, if you tell them honestly that you want to choose your own advisor, most likely they will wish you well.

Q. Do I have to sign a contract with my financial advisor? I’m afraid of getting myself into something I can’t easily get out of.

A. You will have to sign a contract with any investment advisor or brokerage firm to do business with them. The inviolable rule, of course, is never to sign any document you do not thor­oughly understand. Always take your time and if any point is unclear, ask questions. For extra protection, you should review the contract with a knowledgeable friend or attorney before signing it.

Q. Every time my advisor calls suggesting that I buy something, I think to myself does she really believe this is a good investment or is she just after a commission?

A. If you feel unsure about the motives of an advisor working on commission, you need to ask yourself: Do I generally suspect people are trying to take advantage of me, or is there something about this particular advisor that makes me uneasy? If you tend to worry that people are more interested in your money than in your welfare, use this as an opportunity to examine when those feelings are justified and when they aren’t. If you think the problem is with the advisor, discuss your concerns with that person, and then review the reasons for your concerns and the advisor’s responses with a trusted friend or professional. And, of course, you can switch to a fee-only financial planner or a wrap account that’s inclusive of all fees.

Q. What if my advisor pressures me to buy something?

A. If someone tells you, “Buy this now—the price will never be this low again,” or, “This stock will hit 100 in six months,” your antennae should go up. Never buckle under pressure. Think seriously about changing advisors. As one money manager put it, “There’s always another stock and there’s always another day.”

Q. The value of my portfolio is going down instead of up, and I think my broker is at fault. Is there any chance I can recover my losses?

A. Yes. If your broker or other investment advisors have recommended unsuitable investments and failed to explain their risks, churned your account, or bought securities without your permission, you can file a claim against them. Your advisor is generally required to settle the dispute by arbitration. I suggest you discuss your case with a lawyer or other professionals who represent clients in disputes with brokers.

Q. What if I want to change advisors?

A. Before you walk away, give your current advisor a chance to respond to your complaints. Sometimes just hearing the other person’s explanation can clear the air and preserve a working relationship. If, after you’ve talked you still want to take your business elsewhere, find a new advisor who will arrange to transfer your investments for you. Then tell your advisor you want to close your account. Switching brokers should be a simple process, especially if all your holdings are commonly traded stocks, bonds, and mutual funds that are easily moved from one brokerage firm to another. Simply fill out a form listing all the investments you held at the old brokerage firm and give it to the new broker who will take care of everything else. If you’re changing money managers, the process can be slightly more complicated. Often money managers will give you a pro-rated refund and retain a fee covering 30 days.

For more information, check out my booklet: Finding A Financial Advisor that You can Trust

 

February 29, 2008

Good News about Women and Power…It’s Fun!

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Feminism, Inspiration, Money, Relationships, Salary, Support, wealth, Women | Tags: , , , , |
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You can’t imagine how much I’m learning from my interviews with women making millions. These conversations have been about far more than money.

These women are showing me a new, distinctly feminine paradigm of power.Good News about Women and Power…It’s Fun!

These women are creating wealth and wielding clout on their own terms, in a decidedly womanly way.

These women have figured out how to ‘play with the big boys’, make the big bucks, all without pursuing the top-down, male-model of control, domination, and self aggrandizement.

These feminine pioneers of power are achieving extraordinary success, based on qualities that come naturally to women—partnering, nurturing, collaborating, empowering, helping others—and working toward goals that genuinely inspire them. Instead of playing like a man, they realized that they could change the rules to correspond to their values.

The late NY Congresswoman Bella Abzug, once said, “In the twenty-first century, women will change the nature of power rather than power changing the nature of women.” That’s precisely what’s happening.

“Men see power as an end. Power exists to have power”, explained Kaye Fittes, in an article on internet site Nightengale.com. “For women, power is a means to an end. To embrace power, women must see what good can come out of it.”

In other words, while men covet the cachet of the corner office, women crave the chance to make a difference.

That distinction is critical. The women I interviewed recognized that making millions was not an end, but a means, a tool for creating the life they wanted to live, becoming all they were meant to be, and making a difference in areas they deeply cared about. For them, the goal wasn’t to rival Bill Gates, but to build their own creative muscles and, in turn, benefit others, in the most meaningful, authentic, and lucrative way they can.

During our interview, Cynthia Good, co- founder of Pink Magazine, herself a woman making millions, beautifully described this phenomenon. “I have a visual of business women as race horses lined up behind the gates, ready to take off, and not just take off, but do it on their own terms by being fully themselves. That is the big difference, and that is why they want to take off, because for the first time, it’s fun because we can be who we are.”

Are you having fun yet???

 

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