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Long time…no blog!  Did you miss me?

In case you were you wondering what happened (or not), I’ve been waiting…for all your contest submissions to flow in.

Remember?  In my last blog, I asked you: How have you overcome inertia in your financial life…without waiting to be hit over the head with a sledgehammer? The winner would get a mouse pad.

To all who entered, thank you. There were some great ideas.

To all of you who are struggling with inertia and haven’t a clue what to do, help is here…take a look:

  • Honorable mention goes to Tracy, who quoted a bumper sticker: “Debt is Normal. Be Weird.” Great words to live by!!!!
  • Third runner up is Donna, for calling me “a genius for starting this contest.” …in all due modesty.
  • Second runner up is a financial coach, Michele, who advocated hiring a “financial coach like us.” Makes sense to me!
  • First runner up is Barbara W. who declared  “a deadline can be a powerful force against inertia, even if it’s self-imposed.” For example, she suggests, “agree with a friend to update your wills by the end of November, and schedule cocktails to celebrate.”  Cheers to that idea!
  • The Winner is: Laurie, who suggested a great exercise: “write down the best things that could happen if you change what you’re doing now AND the worst things that could happen if you don’t change. Then share the results with one person and receive feedback.”  This is quite an eye-opener!

Congratulations, Laurie…if you email me your address, I’ll send you a bright red mouse pad that says “Scare Yourself Every Day!!! You’ll be the envy of the office. But let them know, they too can order one on my website: www.barbarastanny.com. Come to think of it, those mouse pads would make great Xmas gifts.

Just hung up from talking to a man who’d hired me to speak to a large group of employees.

The purpose of the event, he told me, is to reach out and educate these people about their Deferred Compensation Benefit Plan.

The problem, he explained, is that members were only putting in the small minimum amount each pay period. They wanted to encourage participants to increase their contributions and understand what they’re investing in.

The real issue, he admits: “How do you break their inertia?”

Isn’t that the Big Question for all of us when it comes to money?  (And a lot of other things, I suppose!)

How do we break our inertia?

Most people do it the way I did—by waiting for a crisis. There’s nothing like a catastrophe to kick us out of our stupor. For me, it was a whopping tax bill following my divorce.

Why didn’t I take action when I first found out my husband was grossly mismanaging my money? Why did I wait and put my whole family in jeopardy?

Truth be told, inertia, like ignorance, can be bliss. But the penalty for procrastination is not pretty.

So I ask you:  How have you overcome inertia in your financial life…without waiting to be hit over the head with a sledgehammer? What advice would you give a roomful of foot-draggers?

In fact, let’s make this a contest. A prize goes to the winner with the best suggestion.

The prize: a bright red mouse pad that boldly declares: Scare Yourself Every Day.

Come to think of it, that just might be the best solution for fighting inertia!!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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I just ran across a brand new blog…and am eager to share it with you.

Admittedly, I “ran into” it  because the writer credited my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women, for motivating her to blog. (Google sends me an alert whenever my name appears on the web.)  But enough about me…

If you’re looking for an extra shot of courage, I urge you to visit  http://amanda-whatareyouafraidof.blogspot.com/ Especially if you’re an aspiring writer…or an aspiring whatever….

All her life, Amanda wanted to be a writer…but never did anything about it, other than make excuses for why she couldn’t.  After reading my book, however, she had an epiphany–she was just plain scared…of failure, of rejection, of not doing it right, of what others would think.

At that moment, Amanda realized, “We would rather stay exactly where we are—even if we’re miserable—because the thought of taking a risk and shaking things up scares us far more than a life of being comfortably numb.”

And at that moment, Amanda knew she had the “perfect subject for a blog—fear.”  She started blogging with 2 goals in mind: 1) to overcome some of her fears, and 2) help others do the same.” And you know what? She’s actually doing it!!!

If you’re wrestling with fear (and who isn’t, to some degree?), I invite you to check out  Amanda’s blog and let me know what you think!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

Sign up for Barbara’s free newsletter at

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Twitter Barbara at: http://twitter.com/barbarastanny

Join me in the inspiring tale of a woman (I’ll call her Jane) who discovered the stunning power of women joining with other women to take their financial lives higher.

I’ve never met Jane.  But recently, she emailed me to say a good friend started an Overcoming Underearning® Book Club, and she became a member.  Five women meet monthly, at 7:30am for “OU Power Breakfasts.” The group reads one financial book a month.  I am proud to report the first was mine — Overcoming Underearning®.  Next was On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Personal Finance by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar.

Here’s how the club works:  “We have assignments for our breakfasts, like writing our Contracts with Ourselves and our Wish Lists to share with the group.  We also share our successes in the group in person and via email.  We often include some variation of  “underearning is no longer an option!”  in emails!

“I feel AMAZING afterwards.  It gives me such a boost throughout the day, knowing that I had done something really great for myself and spent time with supportive, uplifting, inspiring friends before going to work.”
But the group gave Jane more than good feelings.  It gave her guts.

“I have a job where I’ve done several extra assignments over the past few years,” she explained, “but have never gotten paid extra for them. I was initially told there was no extra compensation for them and I never asked again.  I was happy for the exposure.”

After she turned in her latest extra assignment, however, her supervisor asked Jane to do more revisions.  The request followed her first book club.  Bolstered by the Power Breakfast, she refused to do more because she wasn’t getting compensated.

Guess what happened?

“My supervisor then said, ‘We can compensate you!’ and within a week all the email approvals had been done to process me getting paid.”

Like most people, she had just assumed a bad economy precluded any extra pay.

“In this climate of cost-cutting I initially did not think that this was going to be possible, but once I verbalized it I realized how much work I had done and that I deserved to get paid, and felt confident that I would. This was a turning point for me in terms of now getting compensated separately for the extra work I do within my company, outside of the responsibilities of my job.”

But the story doesn’t end there.  Her credit card debt, once $10,000,  “is now under $1,000 and I am very close to paying it off altogether, and when I do I’m going to have a party – I will invite you and if you’re in New York I would love to have you there!”

I’d love to come. There’s nothing more inspiring than being around women empowering other women.  If you’ve had any successes with similar groups, I’d love to hear about them!!!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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Twitter Barbara at: http://twitter.com/barbarastanny

I remember, back in the 80’s — when I was struggling to understand money — I started an Investment Club.

Every month a group of about 12 friends got together, usually at my house. Someone brought treats, and we’d spend an hour or so discussing stocks… along with girl talk, gossip and romantic updates.  It was a great way to put the Fun into finances while doing some serious learning.  I really did learn a lot.

However, as I also learned, Investment Clubs can be complicated, time-consuming, and sometimes, contentious. They require co-mingling money, reaching a consensus on stock picking, and a serious time commitment, especially for the officers.

I’ve come to see there’s another— arguably better— way to combine socializing and studying.  Financial Book Clubs.  What makes them better? These clubs are less work and focus on far more than just investing.

I wrote an earlier blog on this topic… http://barbarastannyblog.com/page/7/ But I just got an email that brought it to mind again.  (Emails make such great fodder for blogs!) I was inspired… and I thought you would be too.

In my next post I’ll tell you about;  “One woman’s tale of Overcoming Underearning by joining a Financial Book Club”… stay tuned!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

Sign up for Barbara’s free newsletter at

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Twitter Barbara at: http://twitter.com/barbarastanny

As I mentioned in my Part-1 blog  on this difficult topic several days ago; I had heard from a woman whose husband was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Her question to me: “What should a woman do before her husband dies”?

Her question caused me to recall the agony my mother and I went through when my father became ill, forcing us to make difficult decisions and plans at an already difficult time.

In Part-1, I outlined steps 1 through 3.  Here I’ll finish the series, with steps 4 through 6:

4.       We envisioned a future without Dad.  My mom started thinking about living single: how much money she’d need to live on (a lot…  she wasn’t going to work nor did she have to, but she did like to spend), how she wanted her money invested (very conservatively), and who would assist her with this.  The whole family helped her find an investment advisor (we interviewed 3).  She also hired a CPA – after a while, it became clear he wasn’t a good fit, so she recently hired someone else.  She meets with her “team” on a regular basis to this day.

5.       We had  regular family meetings. These meetings, though often emotional, were absolutely wonderful in getting everyone on the same page while Dad was still alive.  Meetings included my sisters, spouses, and all the grandchildren (we eventually had great grandkids crawling around too).  My Dad let everyone know what his wishes were, especially for philanthropy, and enrolled the whole family to the board of his foundation.  These meetings drew us closer in many ways.

6.       Mom talked to friends.   She’d had several friends who lost their husband’s, so she talked to them at length. They gave her great advice which really helped her see life goes on, happily so.

Having done these things, by the time my father died, all my mother had to do was grieve.  Every detail was in order.  There were no surprises.  All papers signed.  All major decisions made.  Her team was in place.  Practically speaking, his passing was seamless.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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I heard from a woman whose husband was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Her question to me:  What should a woman do before her husband dies?

My heart went out to her,  along with my admiration.  Instead of going into denial, she went into action.  Death is not easy to talk about,  let alone prepare for.  What would you do in her situation?  After all,  most women will face a similar dilemma at some point.

I’ll never forget,  when my father got ill,  I went to  my mother.  “Do you know what Daddy has planned for you when he dies?” I asked.

“Oh yes,” she replied quickly, but when I pressed her for details, she couldn’t tell me.  She also made it abundantly clear:  this was not a conversation she wanted to have.  I made it even clearer:  avoidance was not an option.  Here’s what we did:

1.       We had “the talk.” I had my Mom sit down with my Dad and we looked at all the financial documents:  bank statements, investments, estate planning, etc.  This was not, by any means, an easy conversation.  Dealing with death is emotionally excruciating, at least it was for us.  Nerves were frayed.  My Mom glazed over.  My Dad lost patience.  I kept scratching my wrist (a nervous habit) until it bled.  But by the end,  my Mom knew where every penny was and what arrangements he had made… and hadn’t made.

2.       We assembled “ the team.” My Dad was very much a do-it-yourselfer.   I wanted my Mom to have her own team of professionals to support and guide her (during and after).  First on our list was to hire an estate lawyer… we found one (through my sister).  Mom, my sisters and I met with him first, brought in my father, and together my parents created a very good, tax efficient estate plan… which my Mom not only understood, but had a big  role in creating.

3.       We updated documents.  We made sure the Will, Power of Attorney, EVERYTHING reflected their latest info and current wishes.

As I said, not an easy process.  Sadly, many of us will go through this.  But being prepared, financially, will make it a little easier.

In my next post, I’ll list the final 3 steps you need to take, to prepare yourself.  Stay tuned.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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Does this sound like you?

“It’s a new year! I’m finally going to tackle my finances.  Yep, I’m really ready to get smart about money. Well…sort of.   I mean, I do want to learn…but it just seems so overwhelming.  Where do I start?”

Start with this article: http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-newsReading up/savings-money-club-comeback-1264.php. Not just because I’m in it! The author, Dana Dratch,  does a fabulous job of explaining how to make  financial education fun! FUN????

Yes, FUN!  Invite some friends, bring some food, and start a Money Club.

“The idea has been around for years,” Dana writes. “A small group of friends, co-workers or, in some cases, complete strangers meet regularly to polish money skills, discuss money challenges and set concrete goals. Don’t confuse money clubs with investment clubs, in which members focus on investing skills and may even make investing decisions as a group or pool their money. “

Dana also interviewed Ginita Wall, the co-founder of www.wife.org (which I believe is the best financial education site on the internet for women) and a major proponent of money clubs. Ginita created the site; www.TheMoneyClub.org, where you can download a  free Leader’s Guide for “individuals interested in starting a club, and a menu of lesson plans for meetings.“

Money clubs are exploding in popularity. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s in a money club…got any tips or advice for the rest of us?

Unless you’ve been stuck on a dessert island, you’ve probably noticed that the financial industry is on one hell of a roller-coaster ride.   But according to the rule of the roller coaster, the only ones who get hurt are those who jump off in the middle.

This is not a time to panic.  This is a time to pay attention.

I believe scary times carry significant lessons. This financial mess has some urgent messages for us all. It’s as if the Universe is shaking us by the shoulders, desperately trying to get our attention, urging us to do things differently.

My advice: use these economic breakdowns as a catalyst for your own financial breakthroughs. If you can reap the wisdom in the chaos, there’s a wealth of knowledge to be gained. Here are a few Messages From the Market :

1. Never confuse ignorance with safety – This is not a time to ignore money and pretend everything will be ok. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. Complacency without comprehension is particularly perilous.

The message from the markets: educate yourself financially…now!! (www.barbarastanny.com)

2. Never buy anything you can’t afford – Debt is bad. Debt is dangerous. When debt starts spiraling out of control, as it always does, it takes everything down with it.

The message from the markets: stop using credit, get rid of your cards, and create a plan for paying off outstanding balances. (www.nfcc.org)

3. Never invest in anything you don’t understand – Not even the experts understood the mortgage backed securities they were gobbling up. (www.betterinvesting.org)

The message from the markets: as your mother probably told you, just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you have to too!!!

4.  Diversification is paramount – Plunging markets tend to sink all ships. Those who bounce back fastest, however, have money spread out among different sectors, company sizes, industries, and countries.

The message from the markets: call your advisor and re-balance your portfolio. No advisor? (www.cfp.net; www.nafpfa.org; www.financialpro.org)

5. Trust your gut – If something is too good to be true, rest assured…it is, despite what the supposed experts are saying!!!.

The message from the markets: take your power back.

6. It’s a sale! – The media knows…fear sells. Don’t buy in by selling out. Instead, start scouting for bargains.

The message from the markets:   “When a recovery comes, those who were smart or lucky enough to buy at the bottom will do very well.” Wall Street Journal  (10/6/08) (www.wsj.com)

The markets will eventually go back up. And when they do, you want to be well positioned to benefit…and geared up to weather the next inevitable downturn.

It’s the finale…the last installment of popular questions. I hope they’ve been helpful. And if you have any questions for me, feel free to ask. I’d love to hear from you! So here we go:

Road to financial empowerment for women

1. I’m getting married next year. Should my fiancé and I keep separate accounts or have one joint account?
It’s fine to have a joint account for bill paying, etc, but be sure you have one for yourself too. Every woman needs an account in her own name.

2. How can I stop being such a compulsive shopper?
As my mentor, Karen McCall, a pioneer in financial recovery, always said: “You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.” The problem isn’t the shopping, but the “hole in your soul” you’re trying to fill. I highly recommend attending DA (Debtors Anonymous) meetings, a 12 step program for over-spenders, chronic debtors, and underearners.

3. What is one of the most common money mistakes women make and how can I avoid it?
Without a doubt; it’s doing nothing because you’re afraid of making a mistake. My advice is to spend 3-6 months educating yourself. How?

  1. Every day read something about money, even if it’s just the headlines in the business section of the newspaper, even if it’s only for 1or 2 minutes.
  2. Every week, talk about money, particularly with someone who knows more than you. (taking a class counts too).
  3. Every month, save by having a small amount from your paycheck or checking account automatically deposited in a savings and/or retirement account.

I also encourage women to find a financial advisor they can trust, who will hold them accountable and keep them on track.

4. I’m always worrying about money. How can I calm my fears?

  1. Educate yourself. Knowledge is the best anecdote for fear. The goal is to make financial decisions from knowledge, not ignorance, emotion or habit. Doing the 3 steps I outlined above is an amazingly simple but effective way to conquer money fears.
  2. Join with others. We women are so relationship oriented, one of the best ways to learn is to get support by forming (or joining) a money book club, money study group, or investment club.
  3. Track your spending. Write down every penny you spend for at least a month, then transfer those amounts to spending categories. This exercise allows you to see how/where you can shave expenses, figure out a debt repayment plan, and increase savings.
  4. Create an emergency savings fund with at least 6 months worth of living expenses (a shoe sale is NOT an emergency!)

5. As a young career woman, what’s the single smartest thing I can do with my money now?
Automatic savings. Arrange to have the bank, every month, withdraw money from your checking account or paycheck and deposit it monthly into a personal savings account. Even small amounts ($10 or $20 a month) consistently saved accumulate quickly. It’s money you’d otherwise fritter away. And you don’t miss what you don’t see!! Do the same with your company’s retirement account.

6. My current salary is under 50K. How can I make more money?
If you love what you do, ask for a raise. If you get a ‘no’, ask your boss what you need to do for a pay increase. If you feel dead-ended, or dislike your current job, start looking for a better, higher paying one. Figure out what you’re passionate about and network like crazy. From my interviews with six- and seven-figure women, I discovered that four factors are essential for financial success and quality of life (both are important):

  1. Passion—loving what you do
  2. Audacity—doing what you fear
  3. Resilience—getting back up when you fall down
  4. Community—reaching out for support

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