Inspiration

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September 21, 2009

What Are You Afraid Of?

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Support | Tags: , |
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I just ran across a brand new blog…and am eager to share it with you.

Admittedly, I “ran into” it  because the writer credited my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women, for motivating her to blog. (Google sends me an alert whenever my name appears on the web.)  But enough about me…

If you’re looking for an extra shot of courage, I urge you to visit  http://amanda-whatareyouafraidof.blogspot.com/ Especially if you’re an aspiring writer…or an aspiring whatever….

All her life, Amanda wanted to be a writer…but never did anything about it, other than make excuses for why she couldn’t.  After reading my book, however, she had an epiphany–she was just plain scared…of failure, of rejection, of not doing it right, of what others would think.

At that moment, Amanda realized, “We would rather stay exactly where we are—even if we’re miserable—because the thought of taking a risk and shaking things up scares us far more than a life of being comfortably numb.”

And at that moment, Amanda knew she had the “perfect subject for a blog—fear.”  She started blogging with 2 goals in mind: 1) to overcome some of her fears, and 2) help others do the same.” And you know what? She’s actually doing it!!!

If you’re wrestling with fear (and who isn’t, to some degree?), I invite you to check out  Amanda’s blog and let me know what you think!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
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September 9, 2009

Sharing Financial Statements… Sort Of!

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, dating, Inspiration, Money, Relationships, Women | Tags: , |
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I sent him my blog the moment it was posted… the one about  sharing our financial statements before he moves in.  I made him read it while still on the phone.  I was nervous for his reaction.  After all, I was  putting him, and our relationship,  in the (kind of) public eye.  His response was typical of a man with high self esteem.

“This is great,” he said and meant it.

“So,“ I said taking a deep breath, “Do you want to have The Talk?”

“Sure,” he replied without hesitation. “Let’s do it this weekend.”

Two weekends later, we still haven’t “Talked.”  My Man and I are extremely close.  We discuss everything, unabashedly.  Yet when it comes to money, we keep tip-toeing around the topic.

What we’ve done is have a tepid conversation sprinkled with some tiny revelations.  I threw out a vague number about how much I’m worth.  He did the same.  I mentioned something about diversifying my assets, but being heavy in cash.  He, in turn, shared his disciplined approach to making retirement contributions.   He even said he’s looking forward to seeing how I’ve invested.  But we’ve both been reluctant to reveal specifics.  I consider the conversation we had a good starter step.  But why haven’t we ‘gone all the way?’

Truthfully,  I’m mystified by my avoidance.  All I have to do is take my latest financial statement out of the folder, hand it to him, and say “Here it is.  Let’s talk,” and there’s no doubt in my mind, he’d do the same, in a heartbeat.  But I haven’t.

Reminds me of the letter to Ann Landers from a woman who wanted to ask her boyfriend to help pay for her birth control, but didn’t feel she knew him well enough to ask!

I laughed when I first read that.  Sure, it’s scary for most people  to talk money.  But I never put myself in that category!!!  I mean,  for the last 12 years I’ve been writing about money, consistently telling women:  “It’s our secrecy and silence that keeps us stuck.”

Now, here I am, doing the secrecy-and-silence-thing… and I’m truly shocked. Is it because he’s so resistant?  Or is that my projection?  Does our mutual reluctance come from our disparity in income?  Or is there a lot of old baggage weighing each of us down?

I think it’s time to walk my talk!  Stay tuned.  As always, your insight and advice is welcomed.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
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August 31, 2009

Putting Some FUN Into Finances! Part II

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Book, Career, Empower, Inspiration, Money, Savings, Support, Women | Tags: , |
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Join me in the inspiring tale of a woman (I’ll call her Jane) who discovered the stunning power of women joining with other women to take their financial lives higher.

I’ve never met Jane.  But recently, she emailed me to say a good friend started an Overcoming Underearning® Book Club, and she became a member.  Five women meet monthly, at 7:30am for “OU Power Breakfasts.” The group reads one financial book a month.  I am proud to report the first was mine — Overcoming Underearning®.  Next was On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Personal Finance by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar.

Here’s how the club works:  “We have assignments for our breakfasts, like writing our Contracts with Ourselves and our Wish Lists to share with the group.  We also share our successes in the group in person and via email.  We often include some variation of  “underearning is no longer an option!”  in emails!

“I feel AMAZING afterwards.  It gives me such a boost throughout the day, knowing that I had done something really great for myself and spent time with supportive, uplifting, inspiring friends before going to work.”
But the group gave Jane more than good feelings.  It gave her guts.

“I have a job where I’ve done several extra assignments over the past few years,” she explained, “but have never gotten paid extra for them. I was initially told there was no extra compensation for them and I never asked again.  I was happy for the exposure.”

After she turned in her latest extra assignment, however, her supervisor asked Jane to do more revisions.  The request followed her first book club.  Bolstered by the Power Breakfast, she refused to do more because she wasn’t getting compensated.

Guess what happened?

“My supervisor then said, ‘We can compensate you!’ and within a week all the email approvals had been done to process me getting paid.”

Like most people, she had just assumed a bad economy precluded any extra pay.

“In this climate of cost-cutting I initially did not think that this was going to be possible, but once I verbalized it I realized how much work I had done and that I deserved to get paid, and felt confident that I would. This was a turning point for me in terms of now getting compensated separately for the extra work I do within my company, outside of the responsibilities of my job.”

But the story doesn’t end there.  Her credit card debt, once $10,000,  “is now under $1,000 and I am very close to paying it off altogether, and when I do I’m going to have a party – I will invite you and if you’re in New York I would love to have you there!”

I’d love to come. There’s nothing more inspiring than being around women empowering other women.  If you’ve had any successes with similar groups, I’d love to hear about them!!!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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August 17, 2009

Saving Can Be Sexy!

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, debt problems, Empower, Inspiration, Savings | Tags: , , |
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The Money/Happiness debate continues.  Just today,  USAToday http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-08-05-happiness-apa-money_N.htm asked the age old question, yet again:  Does money bring happiness?  Well, I’m here to resolve this issue, once and for all! (drum roll, please).

Money does NOT make you happier.  But poverty doesn’t either.  What  DOES  make you happier?: taking control of your money, instead of allowing your money to control you!

Let me give you an example.  Here was  a woman (a successful attorney),  who for the last three years,  felt helpless,  hopeless,  and (obviously) very unhappy as her life,  and her debt,  spiraled out of control.

Then, last month, she called me for coaching.  We’ve only had 3 sessions so far.  And most of our time was spent dealing with her resistance (“I’m NOT going to change my lifestyle,” she told me firmly) and getting her out of denial (“OMG, I’m spending way more than I earn!!”).

Finally, last week, she sprang into action.  I share her latest email with you because its proof positive how much happier life can be when you take charge of your finances.

“I have been working diligently to shave my monthly expenses and I am having a blast!” she wrote.

Of course, it wasn’t easy, she admits. “One thing I will say:  it’s a lot of work and takes a lot of discipline to save money,  and was much easier to stay in debt – which is how the system is designed.  But I like the power I feel now much better.  Saving money is actually making me feel very sexy, and probably the sexiest thing I have ever done!”

You’ve got to admit—she’s one happy camper!!!  How did she do it?  With this 7 Step Formula.  She:

  • Opened a savings account:   “$10 per month is automatically transferred from checking,”
  • Cut spending:   “I shaved $1400 from my monthly expenses.”
  • Stopped using cards, even her debit card:  “I was using my debit card the way people use their credit cards and it was getting me into trouble.  I cut it up.”
  • Negotiated with creditors:  “I am working liking crazy with my credit card companies” to decrease rates.
  • Created a spending plan:  “I figured out how much money I needed this month by category and have gotten out the appropriate amount of cash, put paper clips and sticky notes to each allotted amount, and that is all I can spend.”
  • Stuck to her budget no matter what, even during a major move:   “In the past I would have just gotten out my credit card, charged the move and said I would deal with it later.  Now I am planning, looking at all of the expenses and figuring out the best steps and ways to save money.”
  • Followed the coincidences (which always occur when you start taking charge):  “On top of this, I just landed a HUGE new client in Santa Fe, NM -  out of the blue, of course.”

Ultimately, this woman created her own happiness by making 2 crucial changes:  she changed her behavior along with her attitude.

Getting out of debt, she told me, has become “such a fun game.  It’s amazing to see where my money goes!  Wow - to be conscious is incredible. Thanks Barbara – I am loving this!”

Don’t YOU want what she’s having??

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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August 14, 2009

More on Greatness… and Fear!

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Money | Tags: , , |
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Inspired by those “Life is Good” t-shirts, I’m launching a new campaign.  And I invite you to join me.  I’m calling it: “Fear is Good”.

As I see it, Fear has gotten a bum rap and a bad rep.  Maybe it’s leftover from our Neanderthal heritage, when hungry predators were a constant hazard.

But times have changed. And so has fear’s function.  Problem is, few of us have figured that out.  We feel the fear, and either freeze or take flight.  We don’t realize that, in modern times, Fear is rarely a sign that our survival is being threatened.

These days, the only survival being threatened is usually our egos.  Fear has a new purpose now — to warn us of approaching Greatness.  And as I’m personally discovering, we’re as afraid of our Greatness as our ancestors were of carnivorous beasts… maybe more.

So, I’m on a crusade to change that.  It’s a fact… Fear is the clearest signal we will get that we’re on the precipice of greater success, greater happiness, greater impact.

Imagine if more of us finally realized that Fear is nothing to fear.  Quite the opposite.  Fear is Good.   Imagine if every time we got scared, instead of freaking out, we gave each other a big high-five and exclaimed: “YES! We’re on our way to Greatness.”

As for my Fear is Good campaign, our motto is:  Fear is My Friend.  And there’s only one requirement for membership.  Every time you get scared, you shout, at the top of your lungs:  “I go where I fear!”  And off you go… in the direction of your fear, in search of your Greatness.

Fear is every high-achiever’s best friend.  Fear, especially for women, is often a prelude to financial success.  Fear is a cosmic finger pointing the way to victory.  Fear is Good!  Can I sign you up?

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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August 10, 2009

The $100 Savings Challange

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Economy, Inspiration, Money, Savings, wealth | Tags: , , |
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Just as the cherry blossoms were bursting into bloom, Obama was issuing instructions to his cabinet:  cut $100 million from the budget.  Three months later, mission accomplished — $102 million in expenses had been slashed.

When I read this in the Wall Street Journal, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124882436513388423.html,  my immediate reaction:  “Why hasn’t the media made more of this fact?”   We hear, ad nauseum, about the stimulus (read: spending) packages, dragging the nation deeper into debt.  But what about these recent efforts to save money?  Now, in my mind, that’s news!!

Granted, that $102 billion is a microscopic portion of the general deficit, 0.0006%.  But the real story is how quickly and seamlessly government made those cuts… and the public never even felt the pinch.  If a giant bureaucracy can do that, certainly each one of us can too.

Washington called this program “The $100 Million Savings Challenge.” Imagine if you began your own “$100 (you determine the zero’s) Savings Challenge?”  Imagine if you started today, right now, shaving small amounts from your spending every month.  Then imagine if you took it one step further, and stashed the savings in the bank.  Imagine what that would do for your personal fortune!

There is a saying; “It’s easier to find 500 ways to save $1, than one way to save $500“.  That’s exactly what these government heads did: found all kinds of ways to trim small amounts.  For example, making double-sided photocopies, emailing documents instead of printing them, cutting unused phone lines.  Small.  Simple.  Painless.  Very effective.

I’ve always said, small steps consistently taken create remarkable results. Now what about you? What teeny-tiny cuts can you begin making right now? I’d love to hear your ideas.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
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July 30, 2009

Giving Debt a Whole New Meaning

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, debt problems, Inspiration, wealth | Tags: , , |
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This will give you cause to pause… especially if you’re in debt.  Have you ever looked up the definition of  “debt”  in Webster’s dictionary?  Try it: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/debt

A client of mine did recently,  and,  in her words,  “I was absolutely shocked!”  Merriam-Webster’s first definition of debt -  Sin.  Yes… SIN!!!

Do you realize that a whopping majority of people are “living in sin”?  Are you?

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
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July 28, 2009

Looking For Signs

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Women | Tags: , |
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I am always on the look out  for signs.  It’s a game I play.  And I take every sign very seriously.

My children often tease me.   ”Sometimes, Mom, a cigar is just a cigar.”  Not in my world!

Yesterday I got two huge signs.  I wanted to know if I was on the right track.  And I got confirmation.  In neon.

First, came a call from a well-known financial website seeking my involvement.  That would’ve been enough confirmation to convince me I’m on target.

But  then… are you ready for this?… a major Hollywood production company called ME!  They were interested in creating a TV show based on my book;  Prince Charming Isn’t Coming.  You could’ve knocked me over with a feather!

Look, I know, the chances of anything coming out of either opportunity is slim.  As my seasoned agent reminded me about TV-land: “generally, these type of requests go nowhere.”

And you know what?  It doesn’t matter.  I really mean that.  These two signs have shown  me something very profound — there’s tremendous value  in  Surrender, in taking time out for going within.   In our “doing” world,  Surrender is a pejorative term.  When, in truth, surrender is an extremely practical, highly beneficial success strategy.

Those two calls yesterday felt like the Universe was giving me a big high-five, congratulating me for taking time out and assuring me great stuff was on the way!

I’d love to hear from any of you who have benefitted (or not) from taking a retreat.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
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July 27, 2009

Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Women | Tags: , |
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Greatness takes guts.  No doubt about it.  Sure,  Shakespeare implored us: “Don’t be afraid of Greatness.”  But here I was, on Day 3 of my retreat, seriously scared.  From the moment I woke up,  fear began to wrap around me like a second skin,  seeping into my pores,  coursing through my veins,   constricting my chest with its vise-like grip.

Why was I so afraid, I wondered?  I spent the last two days delightfully splashing around in this new Call to Greatness.  Now,  suddenly,  I wake up drowning in fear.

In  a split second,  it made perfect sense.

The Call to Greatness meant I was being summoned to a higher level.  I had grown very comfortable teaching women how to make more money and manage it wisely.  I had the ‘overcoming’ stuff down pat.  But going to the next level of  ‘becoming’  (whatever that means!!!)  was brand new territory.

I suspected what that meant for me personally – I  had to come out of the closet,  revealing and owning my value,  my brilliance,  my power,  my exceptional wisdom and my unique talents.

The instant I wrote that last sentence,  my tummy did a belly flop.  Is everyone going to think I’m arrogant (a big fear of mine!)?  Or even worse,  will the world think I’m really just faking it?  My brilliance is BS, my talents are,  well… ordinary?

Somewhere during the day,  I made a decision.  This is a risk I’m willing to take.  I’m going for Greatness,  and taking every woman I possibly can with me.  I  am convinced the world desperately needs women to step up to the plate and into their power,  to own their Greatness in the grandest way.

Just as I write this,  the damndest  thing happened.  I get an email from my friend Suzy.  “I read this and thought of you,”  she said,  sending me a quote from Marianne Williamson.  The synchronicity was inescapable!!!

“It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves,

“Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?”

Actually, who are you not to be?

YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

There’s no doubt in my mind – this a sign and a message,  not just to me,  but to everyone reading this blog!!!

Speaking of signs,  be sure to read my next blog.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money

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July 24, 2009

The Guide To Greatness

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Women | Tags: , , , |
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Day 2 of my retreat had me curled up on the cozy window seat, staring at the water, pondering what Greatness actually means.  This was not something I’d given a lot of thought to in the past.

Still, I figured I should know.  My  father had achieved Greatness.  Not because he co-founded a famous company.  But because he made it possible for large numbers of people to get quality tax preparation for a fraction of the price.  I grew up with Greatness.  I saw it every day, living, breathing, expanding, succeeding.  As  I started reviewing what my father  showed me, I came up with a formula for Achieving Greatness:

1.       Greatness refuses to be limited or controlled in any way by fear.  (Fear is to greatness what ants are to a picnic… annoying, inevitable, and best ignored)

2.       Greatness follows ideas that come from seemingly nowhere.

3.       Greatness doesn’t act alone. It has partners, collaborators, a team.

4.       Greatness is humble, not to be confused with Grandiosity.  Grandiosity comes from the ego and is; as A Course in Miracles tells us, “always a cover for despair.”  Greatness is sourced from the soul and is always a desire to do what it came to earth to do.

5.       Greatness sees the world as it’s playground and every problem as part of The Game… a lawsuit is no more serious that misplacing a stapler.

6.       Greatness takes its mission (not itself) very seriously, and always puts that mission first.

7.       Greatness truly enjoys Greatness, not just for itself, but for its positive effect on others.

8.       Greatness is not out  for money or fame.  Fame may occur or not — it’s totally irrelevant.  But money is mandatory…  sufficient income is necessary to eliminate any distractions for achieving its goals.

9.       Greatness isn’t perfect, and is more than willing not to be.  Greatness feeds on self trust (the definition to self-trust:  knowing you can clean up what you mess up!).

10.   When pain enters Greatness, it’s meant to be a wake-up call.

11.   Greatness is kind, but tough, and politely endures criticism.  While Greatness doesn’t need be liked, it demands to be respected.

12.   The Arc of Greatness involves many mistakes, failures, wrong turns… they are the steppingstones to  Greatness.

13.   Greatness is passion made manifest.  The biggest pitfall to Greatness – doing what you should vs. what you love.

14.   Greatness requires responsibility, rejects mediocrity, and resides in the unknown.

15.   When Greatness dies, it doesn’t go away. Greatness always leaves  behind witnesses.

Woody Allen had it right when he said: “The only thing standing between Greatness and me, is me.”

Coming next: Getting out of the way of Greatness.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com
360.385.0600

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