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March 24, 2010

Signals of surrender

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Career, Empower, Goals, Inspiration, Women | Tags: , , |
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How do you know when it’s time to surrender?

In my case, I just felt ‘blah’, squeezed dry, devoid of creativity, lacking the passion that once was so prominent.  These feelings sort of snuck up on me, caught me by surprise, sometime last summer.

My coach, Martha Lynn Walker, suggested I take a retreat, get a way for a few days. I did and blogged about it earlier –  http://barbarastannyblog.com/2009/12/16/it%E2%80%99s-a-miracle/

I returned reinvigorated, back in the groove. Or so I thought. A few months later, my business partner and I split up. At that point, I really felt lost.

I knew, right then, my “blahs” and the break-up were more than isolated incidences. They were wake up calls, signals from my soul, sending me an urgent message: Stop what you’re doing; Pay attention; there’s something you need to know, but you must be quiet enough to hear it.

I wonder how many of you are receiving similar messages, alerting you to the fact  you’ve somehow drifted  off purpose or  perhaps your direction may be morphing into something altogether different. I wonder how many of you haven’t a clue what to do.  Or are horrified at the very thought of taking time out. Well, my friends, I’m here to help.

Coming up next: a Beginners Guide to Surrender

 

December 16, 2009

It’s a miracle!!!

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Goals, Inspiration, Women, miracles, writing
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I sat down to write my December newsletter last week.  I intended the subject to be “Creating a Life Vision”…you know, with the new year around the corner.

But the first words I typed took me by surprise:

“I’ve been feeling restless lately. Unsettled. Out of sorts.”

That’s not at all what I’d expected to say! And you know what? I love when that happens….when writing turns into a voyage of self discovery. I decided to let the words flow and see what unfolded.
“Whenever I feel like this,” I continued, “it can only mean one thing. I need time to reflect…to hear what my soul is yearning to tell me.”

I promise you, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear…even though I knew it was the truth. I was craving solitude, but had no time for a time out. I had a gazillion things to do before I flew to Mexico for Christmas, including a business trip to the east coast.

And then my fingers, flying across the keys, made a pronouncement.  They (my fingers, not me!) publicly committed “to take time out, this month…even though at this moment, I have no idea how I’ll do it.”

I’m here to tell you, I was ready to hit the delete button on that one. There was virtually no room in my schedule for a retreat.  But I went ahead and sent out the newsletter. Then the damnedest thing happened.

The next day, I got an email from the East Coast client with the subject heading: No Travel. They cancelled the event, at the very last minute.

Suddenly, I had a few unscheduled days.  Instead of filling them with busyness, as I normally would, I sunk into the empty space like a tub of warm water, soaking in the luxury of unstructured time.

I share this with you because I promised to blog about it. But also, I share this as a reminder… not only of the power of commitment, but also the often pointless effort of trying to figure out how something’s going to happen.  My experience proves what Johann Wolfgang von Goethe  told us long ago:

“The moment one definitely commits oneself, providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man (or woman) could have dreamed would have come his (or her) way.”

Don’t you just love when miracles occur? Do you have any you’d care to share?

 

September 21, 2009

What Are You Afraid Of?

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Support | Tags: , |
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I just ran across a brand new blog…and am eager to share it with you.

Admittedly, I “ran into” it  because the writer credited my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women, for motivating her to blog. (Google sends me an alert whenever my name appears on the web.)  But enough about me…

If you’re looking for an extra shot of courage, I urge you to visit  http://amanda-whatareyouafraidof.blogspot.com/ Especially if you’re an aspiring writer…or an aspiring whatever….

All her life, Amanda wanted to be a writer…but never did anything about it, other than make excuses for why she couldn’t.  After reading my book, however, she had an epiphany–she was just plain scared…of failure, of rejection, of not doing it right, of what others would think.

At that moment, Amanda realized, “We would rather stay exactly where we are—even if we’re miserable—because the thought of taking a risk and shaking things up scares us far more than a life of being comfortably numb.”

And at that moment, Amanda knew she had the “perfect subject for a blog—fear.”  She started blogging with 2 goals in mind: 1) to overcome some of her fears, and 2) help others do the same.” And you know what? She’s actually doing it!!!

If you’re wrestling with fear (and who isn’t, to some degree?), I invite you to check out  Amanda’s blog and let me know what you think!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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August 31, 2009

Putting Some FUN Into Finances! Part II

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Book, Career, Empower, Inspiration, Money, Savings, Support, Women | Tags: , |
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Join me in the inspiring tale of a woman (I’ll call her Jane) who discovered the stunning power of women joining with other women to take their financial lives higher.

I’ve never met Jane.  But recently, she emailed me to say a good friend started an Overcoming Underearning® Book Club, and she became a member.  Five women meet monthly, at 7:30am for “OU Power Breakfasts.” The group reads one financial book a month.  I am proud to report the first was mine — Overcoming Underearning®.  Next was On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Personal Finance by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar.

Here’s how the club works:  “We have assignments for our breakfasts, like writing our Contracts with Ourselves and our Wish Lists to share with the group.  We also share our successes in the group in person and via email.  We often include some variation of  “underearning is no longer an option!”  in emails!

“I feel AMAZING afterwards.  It gives me such a boost throughout the day, knowing that I had done something really great for myself and spent time with supportive, uplifting, inspiring friends before going to work.”
But the group gave Jane more than good feelings.  It gave her guts.

“I have a job where I’ve done several extra assignments over the past few years,” she explained, “but have never gotten paid extra for them. I was initially told there was no extra compensation for them and I never asked again.  I was happy for the exposure.”

After she turned in her latest extra assignment, however, her supervisor asked Jane to do more revisions.  The request followed her first book club.  Bolstered by the Power Breakfast, she refused to do more because she wasn’t getting compensated.

Guess what happened?

“My supervisor then said, ‘We can compensate you!’ and within a week all the email approvals had been done to process me getting paid.”

Like most people, she had just assumed a bad economy precluded any extra pay.

“In this climate of cost-cutting I initially did not think that this was going to be possible, but once I verbalized it I realized how much work I had done and that I deserved to get paid, and felt confident that I would. This was a turning point for me in terms of now getting compensated separately for the extra work I do within my company, outside of the responsibilities of my job.”

But the story doesn’t end there.  Her credit card debt, once $10,000,  “is now under $1,000 and I am very close to paying it off altogether, and when I do I’m going to have a party – I will invite you and if you’re in New York I would love to have you there!”

I’d love to come. There’s nothing more inspiring than being around women empowering other women.  If you’ve had any successes with similar groups, I’d love to hear about them!!!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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August 27, 2009

Putting Some FUN into Finances! Part I

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Finance, Invest, Money, Support | Tags: , |
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I remember, back in the 80’s — when I was struggling to understand money — I started an Investment Club.

Every month a group of about 12 friends got together, usually at my house. Someone brought treats, and we’d spend an hour or so discussing stocks… along with girl talk, gossip and romantic updates.  It was a great way to put the Fun into finances while doing some serious learning.  I really did learn a lot.

However, as I also learned, Investment Clubs can be complicated, time-consuming, and sometimes, contentious. They require co-mingling money, reaching a consensus on stock picking, and a serious time commitment, especially for the officers.

I’ve come to see there’s another— arguably better— way to combine socializing and studying.  Financial Book Clubs.  What makes them better? These clubs are less work and focus on far more than just investing.

I wrote an earlier blog on this topic… http://barbarastannyblog.com/page/7/ But I just got an email that brought it to mind again.  (Emails make such great fodder for blogs!) I was inspired… and I thought you would be too.

In my next post I’ll tell you about;  “One woman’s tale of Overcoming Underearning by joining a Financial Book Club”… stay tuned!

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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August 17, 2009

Saving Can Be Sexy!

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Savings, debt problems | Tags: , , |
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The Money/Happiness debate continues.  Just today,  USAToday http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-08-05-happiness-apa-money_N.htm asked the age old question, yet again:  Does money bring happiness?  Well, I’m here to resolve this issue, once and for all! (drum roll, please).

Money does NOT make you happier.  But poverty doesn’t either.  What  DOES  make you happier?: taking control of your money, instead of allowing your money to control you!

Let me give you an example.  Here was  a woman (a successful attorney),  who for the last three years,  felt helpless,  hopeless,  and (obviously) very unhappy as her life,  and her debt,  spiraled out of control.

Then, last month, she called me for coaching.  We’ve only had 3 sessions so far.  And most of our time was spent dealing with her resistance (“I’m NOT going to change my lifestyle,” she told me firmly) and getting her out of denial (“OMG, I’m spending way more than I earn!!”).

Finally, last week, she sprang into action.  I share her latest email with you because its proof positive how much happier life can be when you take charge of your finances.

“I have been working diligently to shave my monthly expenses and I am having a blast!” she wrote.

Of course, it wasn’t easy, she admits. “One thing I will say:  it’s a lot of work and takes a lot of discipline to save money,  and was much easier to stay in debt – which is how the system is designed.  But I like the power I feel now much better.  Saving money is actually making me feel very sexy, and probably the sexiest thing I have ever done!”

You’ve got to admit—she’s one happy camper!!!  How did she do it?  With this 7 Step Formula.  She:

  • Opened a savings account:   “$10 per month is automatically transferred from checking,”
  • Cut spending:   “I shaved $1400 from my monthly expenses.”
  • Stopped using cards, even her debit card:  “I was using my debit card the way people use their credit cards and it was getting me into trouble.  I cut it up.”
  • Negotiated with creditors:  “I am working liking crazy with my credit card companies” to decrease rates.
  • Created a spending plan:  “I figured out how much money I needed this month by category and have gotten out the appropriate amount of cash, put paper clips and sticky notes to each allotted amount, and that is all I can spend.”
  • Stuck to her budget no matter what, even during a major move:   “In the past I would have just gotten out my credit card, charged the move and said I would deal with it later.  Now I am planning, looking at all of the expenses and figuring out the best steps and ways to save money.”
  • Followed the coincidences (which always occur when you start taking charge):  “On top of this, I just landed a HUGE new client in Santa Fe, NM -  out of the blue, of course.”

Ultimately, this woman created her own happiness by making 2 crucial changes:  she changed her behavior along with her attitude.

Getting out of debt, she told me, has become “such a fun game.  It’s amazing to see where my money goes!  Wow - to be conscious is incredible. Thanks Barbara – I am loving this!”

Don’t YOU want what she’s having??

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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August 14, 2009

More on Greatness… and Fear!

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Money | Tags: , , |
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Inspired by those “Life is Good” t-shirts, I’m launching a new campaign.  And I invite you to join me.  I’m calling it: “Fear is Good”.

As I see it, Fear has gotten a bum rap and a bad rep.  Maybe it’s leftover from our Neanderthal heritage, when hungry predators were a constant hazard.

But times have changed. And so has fear’s function.  Problem is, few of us have figured that out.  We feel the fear, and either freeze or take flight.  We don’t realize that, in modern times, Fear is rarely a sign that our survival is being threatened.

These days, the only survival being threatened is usually our egos.  Fear has a new purpose now — to warn us of approaching Greatness.  And as I’m personally discovering, we’re as afraid of our Greatness as our ancestors were of carnivorous beasts… maybe more.

So, I’m on a crusade to change that.  It’s a fact… Fear is the clearest signal we will get that we’re on the precipice of greater success, greater happiness, greater impact.

Imagine if more of us finally realized that Fear is nothing to fear.  Quite the opposite.  Fear is Good.   Imagine if every time we got scared, instead of freaking out, we gave each other a big high-five and exclaimed: “YES! We’re on our way to Greatness.”

As for my Fear is Good campaign, our motto is:  Fear is My Friend.  And there’s only one requirement for membership.  Every time you get scared, you shout, at the top of your lungs:  “I go where I fear!”  And off you go… in the direction of your fear, in search of your Greatness.

Fear is every high-achiever’s best friend.  Fear, especially for women, is often a prelude to financial success.  Fear is a cosmic finger pointing the way to victory.  Fear is Good!  Can I sign you up?

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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August 12, 2009

Want to Become a Financial Recovery Coach?

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Career, Empower, Workshop, debt problems, wealth | Tags: , , , |
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I did a massive closet cleaning yesterday.  Gave away bags of clothes to Goodwill.  I’m a big believer in letting go to create space for something better (see my blog post about it!).

As I was tossing stuff into garbage bags, I found a framed certificate I’m definitely keeping.  It declared that I’d completed the “Financial Recovery Counseling Training” in 2000, and was signed by founder Karen McCall.  The training was intense and life-changing.

Karen McCall is THE pioneer in the field of overspending, underearning, and chronic debting… and my long-time mentor.

She was one of many professionals I visited in those early desperate days of my own financial crisis.  She was, however, the only one who told me I was an “underearner”.  Initially I balked at the accusation.

But she broke through my denial, and I became her client… then her student. I often wonder, if it wasn’t for Karen, would I be doing what I’m doing now?

If you are a coach, looking for a rewarding new career, or simply want to make changes in your own financial life,  you need to know this — In  early September, Karen is offering her final training program this year.

As she told me; “This is very likely the last class where I will personally be doing the majority of personal mentoring with my students.”

The cool part of this extensive 6 month program is that Karen not only trains you in her Financial Recovery process, but mentors you on starting a successful business.  Check it out.  There are only 4 slots left. http://www.financialrecovery.com/training-int-req.html

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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August 6, 2009

6 Things To Do Before Your Spouse Dies – Part 2

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Support, estate planning | Tags: , , |
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As I mentioned in my Part-1 blog  on this difficult topic several days ago; I had heard from a woman whose husband was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Her question to me: “What should a woman do before her husband dies”?

Her question caused me to recall the agony my mother and I went through when my father became ill, forcing us to make difficult decisions and plans at an already difficult time.

In Part-1, I outlined steps 1 through 3.  Here I’ll finish the series, with steps 4 through 6:

4.       We envisioned a future without Dad.  My mom started thinking about living single: how much money she’d need to live on (a lot…  she wasn’t going to work nor did she have to, but she did like to spend), how she wanted her money invested (very conservatively), and who would assist her with this.  The whole family helped her find an investment advisor (we interviewed 3).  She also hired a CPA – after a while, it became clear he wasn’t a good fit, so she recently hired someone else.  She meets with her “team” on a regular basis to this day.

5.       We had  regular family meetings. These meetings, though often emotional, were absolutely wonderful in getting everyone on the same page while Dad was still alive.  Meetings included my sisters, spouses, and all the grandchildren (we eventually had great grandkids crawling around too).  My Dad let everyone know what his wishes were, especially for philanthropy, and enrolled the whole family to the board of his foundation.  These meetings drew us closer in many ways.

6.       Mom talked to friends.   She’d had several friends who lost their husband’s, so she talked to them at length. They gave her great advice which really helped her see life goes on, happily so.

Having done these things, by the time my father died, all my mother had to do was grieve.  Every detail was in order.  There were no surprises.  All papers signed.  All major decisions made.  Her team was in place.  Practically speaking, his passing was seamless.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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July 28, 2009

Looking For Signs

Posted by barbarastanny under Barbara Stanny, Empower, Inspiration, Women | Tags: , |
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I am always on the look out  for signs.  It’s a game I play.  And I take every sign very seriously.

My children often tease me.   ”Sometimes, Mom, a cigar is just a cigar.”  Not in my world!

Yesterday I got two huge signs.  I wanted to know if I was on the right track.  And I got confirmation.  In neon.

First, came a call from a well-known financial website seeking my involvement.  That would’ve been enough confirmation to convince me I’m on target.

But  then… are you ready for this?… a major Hollywood production company called ME!  They were interested in creating a TV show based on my book;  Prince Charming Isn’t Coming.  You could’ve knocked me over with a feather!

Look, I know, the chances of anything coming out of either opportunity is slim.  As my seasoned agent reminded me about TV-land: “generally, these type of requests go nowhere.”

And you know what?  It doesn’t matter.  I really mean that.  These two signs have shown  me something very profound — there’s tremendous value  in  Surrender, in taking time out for going within.   In our “doing” world,  Surrender is a pejorative term.  When, in truth, surrender is an extremely practical, highly beneficial success strategy.

Those two calls yesterday felt like the Universe was giving me a big high-five, congratulating me for taking time out and assuring me great stuff was on the way!

I’d love to hear from any of you who have benefitted (or not) from taking a retreat.

Barbara Stanny

The leading authority on women & money
barbara@barbarastanny.com
www.barbarastanny.com

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