Comments on: First Date: Who Pays?

By: abavaCiffwags

abavaCiffwags — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:01:55 +0000

ywyefhbmtrwwhuplwell, hi admin adn people nice forum indeed. how’s life? hope it’s introduce branch

By: Garrett Beck

Garrett Beck — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 08:18:43 +0000

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By: ptown tigers

ptown tigers — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:24:58 +0000

every woman has a little “ho” in them. even though she’s more than capable of paying, by asking him to pay, she’s testing her “marketability.” you all wanna know if he thinks you’re “worth” at least dinner.

By: Prefer to be anonymous

Prefer to be anonymous — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:21:10 +0000

I think the guy should pay… without a dubt.

By: Fabulous Financials v2.0 » Dating, Career, Financial Planning, and Wealth Mentality

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 12:39:00 +0000

[...] Who pays on the first date? [Barbara Stanny] When it comes to dating, I’m a little old fashioned so you can probably guess what my answer would be. [...]

By: Yvonne Chase

Yvonne Chase — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 05:03:48 +0000

As much as I’ve offered to pay for dates, I never have…the men always pay. I’ve realized that men like to see women make the effort after all, it’s a first date and neither of us know each other. When I suggest women offer to pay, I was referring to first dates only. If she feels like offering at another time, why not? I have never paid for a date that I didn’t create.

Once a woman is in a committed relationship, I think it’s a really nice gesture for her to plan and pay for a date from time to time. Men like to be treated too.

By: barbarastanny

barbarastanny — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 21:23:31 +0000

I really appreciate what you wrote, Leanne. In fact, after reading your comments, I had a mini epiphany. Men and women ARE different…and these little gestures (like paying the check or opening our door) are an opportunity to honor and value our difference without demeaning either of us.

I’m actually surprised that everyone seems to agree with you too! Any opposing views??????

By: Leanne

Leanne — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 19:28:16 +0000

I definitely think that a man paying should be preserved! Men and women should be equal – I am well educated and have a successful career and believe that being a woman should have no bearing on how I am perceived in the world. Having said that though, I am still a woman and a man is still a man and we are different creatures.

I don’t believe that chivalry implies that I am frail, helpless or submissive. Rather, that I am worthy of special treatment because I am a sister/wife/mother.

Another comment I often hear from friends (both men and women) is that women typically spend a lot more time and money getting ready. Makeup, hair and clothing tend to be far more expensive for women… and it may often take us upwards of one hour to prepare/invest for dates. So it’s only fair that men invest for dates.

By: barbarastanny

barbarastanny — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 18:33:41 +0000

I feel your passion around this subject, Gina. I’m definitely leaning in your direction. But allow me to play devil’s advocate…because I struggle with this in my mind all the time. And I’d love to hear your (or anyone elses) response.

Isn’t chivalry, and the gestures we consider good manners, based on the notion that women are frail, helpless, and submissive? I mean, if he were with a male friend, would he even consider standing when he arrived at the table, pulling out his chair,and then insist on paying every time?

My question is this. Do “good manners” reinforce women’s helplessness? Or am I being a bit too extreme??

By: Gina

Gina — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 23:34:39 +0000

I definately don’t think it should go the way of the girdle!!!

Just like I don’t think holding a door for a woman or offering a seat on a bus to a woman should go by the wayside.

It really isn’t an issue of pay equity to me. It’s an issue of manners and behaving in a civilized manner — something that seems to somehow have become optional, to the detriment of us all. I personally feel sorry for the young women of today who have to fight to receive any amount of chivalry from a man.

The way I look at it is, if a man isn’t willing to do these small courtesies for another person, then he’s really not worth my time. He’s probably got a lot of other areas in life where he doesn’t think it’s important to behave respectfully either.

Now — when it comes to a date he would have asked me to go anyway. If he wants to foster a romantic relationship, he should pay with no expectations. After the relationship is established, I’d be more willing to pay part of the time. If it’s destined to be friendship only, then we would go dutch.

Oh, yes – and I’m 39.